Uninspired

That’s how I am feeling lately. Uninspired.

Sadly, not only in the photography side of my life (might have spent all January without shooting anything, although I have been working on my editing skills) but in general, in everything.

Have you ever felt like that? Like life’s not going to be better (nor worse, and I am happy, thankful and hopeful for that)? That all that is coming so far is 50 shades of gray? And I don’t mean it as it’s related with the book by Any means.

Dull. Everything’s dull. Getting up, going to work, coming back home, going to bed. Press repeat. Over, and over again. During the week I can’t meet my friends, as I finish work exhausted and late. On the weekends, everybody has things going on but me… and it’s not that I say that because of social media, it’s more of a “hey, what’re you up to tomorrow? Well, I already have plans”.

Ok. In fact, I am so glad to have a smartphone and Whatsapp in my phone, cause that might be the only social life I am getting these days.

Bored. Uninspired. Lazy.

I am trapped on a loop of boredom, laziness and a huge lack of will.

A couple months back I was all about “Hell yeah! I am going to work part time on the afternoons, so I can spend my mornings learning and working on things I love! I will start a part time photography business! I am going to get fit and eat healthier, and everything’s gonna be better!”. But the truth is that I am still living with my parents, that I am still working on a job that doesn’t pay for me being able to do what I want. The truth is that I don’t know how to adult, no idea where to start building up a business, or a career, or shit.

And since I lack the basic skills for survival, what’s next?

I have no idea what my next move should be… I only know that I have no fucking clue of how to do it, or how to make things happen. It always have been like this. No. Fucking. Clue.

I’ve tried, I’ve failed, I mourn. Back to try again.

I am quite tired of it… I just would like things to work a little bit. I think I don’t mind the hustle but I can’t even get to that point…

So, to my dear readers, lovely fellas… what’s next? Are you in the same place? Have you been there and you may have a trick to help me get back to my feet?

Anyways… I think I am going to get back to my couch, and let myself go for a while. Tomorrow will be another day, and I might get the strenght to fight back again.

Maybe.

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